And so how is London Fashion Week going? Yeah, I think you might have guessed that it’s been SUPER BUSY here the past few days. That said, today it’s also pretty nippy so I thought it might be cool to have a quick chat with model Suzie Bird before she dashed off to Paris a few hours ago to ask her how she stays fashionably warm while running from show to show.

Answer: She cleverly layers. But it’s done with such French beauty. A
Paul & Joe Sister blouse with it’s sweet cat print and a touch of coffee is a perfect play on color. Pretty much the idea is to choose a print to elevate your wool sweater and wool coat. All you gotta do is make sure that it has a substantially coloured bow or ribbon that you can tie and let casually fall out over your wool jumper. Suzie’s jumper is from COS and her bag is from Balenciaga, a bag with darker coffee colours which gives this whole look that perfect touch of coffee luxury… I love it.

And then I asked about he coat and was thrilled to hear that it’s vintage as are her boots. At first it surprised me as both her coat and boots look so modern against what’s going on in fashion shape-wise right now, but then I loved the idea of how now you can shop and create this look quite affordably and end up owning something which is a total one-off in your closet. Double.. Woo! Woo!

And now I want these boots more than anything at fashion week. How do I always keep doing this? Okay, I gotta get going… I have to run to Meadham Kirchhoff, meanwhile I’ll be working out a new vintage shopping plan… and how to find a good coffee.

Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow with more! Big hugs!

Someone yesterday reminded me that they would be combing my fashion weeks reviews to see what I thought of their favorite designers and a little shiver went up my spine thinking how good many of the shows I’ve seen in the past few days have been. A certain few shows have stood out as being pretty magnificent.

So I am not in fact still trapped backstage at Simone Rocha at Somerset House at London Fashion Week for her Autumn/Winter 2012 show, but my mind is laden with the images. Smudged wool and crochet delicately adorning collars and used in a new and clever way.

Collars ran from simple wool crocheted single stitches…

…to cotton collars trimmed with rows of white or black blanket stitches.

Treated as a removable accessory, Simone Rocha made the collar her own again this season. (In her last two collections she floated collars separate to garments and created them from gingham, organza and lace sandwiched safely in plastic which looked gossamer light.)

Smudges of wool also came densely tufted and teased to create a collar which sat beneath a cotton collar.

The tufted wool was inspired by feral tribal imagery from Papua New Guinea and the theme was further enhanced by the hair which was teased into a signature fringe by James Pecis.

Dublin street children of the 1930′s was another theme which Simone Rocha used as an examination of new and old Ireland – boys and girls – wild and refined and her army of pale models reflected this.

Crochet was further used in headpieces

Flashes of texture from Rocha’s signature colored perspex heel….

…to sleeves on dresses fashioned from guipure.

Touches of Melton and Linton tweed (used extensively by Chanel), tulle, and mohair

Here’s a close-up. Lots to love this season from this very strong collection by Simone Rocha who’s experimentation with texture seems to be going from strength to strength.

Whenever I plan to spend a weekend working, I always think, “Here’s the time to finally get loads of stuff done.” I plan to write heavy tomes, set up an immaculate folder system on my computer, tick things in my diary and then that little whisper inside me says, “Pssssst, what about all the other things?” Then I’m faced with the vision, that in the past no matter what amount of hard work I did, I constantly ended up losing (egg and spoon races, x-factor style singing competitions, gymnast of the year). But better surely that these moments are remembered now in the safe knowledge that the sting has been squeezed out of these experiences by the weight of time. For what is life if not a laboratory where one can experiment and make mistakes and eventually be a winner? Like Charlie Sheen.

So what has me talking about losing when this bottle of Le Labo Rose 31, the first fragrance I had specially mixed for me, the fragrance that you can have specifically mixed for you, quite clearly looks like a winner? Well the day I nipped gingerly through Liberty London’s doors I was in full losing face mode in preparation for The Lovie Awards later that evening. Spotting the Le Labo counter and remembering that I’d turned down an invitation extended to me to try out this service in the past because truthfully, I was too preoccupied lusting and (WO)man handling Liberty london’s leather goods and stationery, I decided to maybe give it a go. They said it was a unique experience and the juice would last a year and seeing as Liberty London is my favorite London department store and… well you understand.

At this point I approached Jovana Kalkan, master mixer at the Le Labo counter and asked tentatively who her customers were. “People who want a personalized fragrance with their name on it,” she said. “And people who want to make a statement through their perfume.” I can’t honestly place myself in the second category, but having ones name on something is kinda cool so on we went. I liked Jovana a lot. She was honest, didn’t try to make me take anything I didn’t want (or need).

First she explained that the different fragrances came in three sizes. 50ml, 100ml juice and a gel/balm stick which came in a tube not much bigger than a lipstick. Do you think I should think about spritzing the perfume before I leave the house and then bring about the gel stick in my bag for top ups? I asked. “No,” she said. “Why would you do that? I’d use it more for air travel,” she added. Good idea. The other point about Jovana is she’d been mixing Le Labo a good while at Liberty so it seemed reasonable to turn the entire decision-making process over to her. And what a lot of decisions there were to make.

Flowers. Did I like flowers? I said yes but rarely as a fragrance, too pretty. I like dark, rich, rolling smells like a warm little wild animal, curled up on an old leather chesterfield, living in an abandoned library. Jovana said she understood and that Rose 31 would suit me, it was a man’s scent with a dark underbelly, but not too heavy. The fragrance notes are Grasse rose, pepper, olibanum, clove, cumin, nutmeg, cedar, amber, gaïac wood, oudh wood, and vetiver. I spritzed a tester and I was charmed. On my woolen sleeves Rose 31 was deep, dusty and dry, earthy, like I let my arms traipse through heavy undergrowth on a wet day in blooming woodland. Anything else?

Well before all these choices, of course, came my nerdy obsession with science. Professor Trygg Engen, a professor of psychology at Brown University, found that people recall smells with 65 percent accuracy after a year and that olfactory recall is much more reliable than visual memory. And while the grownups were busying themselves with life my little childhood nose was sniffing about in the Irish countryside, sniffing the aroma of wood burning fires, the incense at church, sniffing wet little wild animals, horses, leather boots and it being Ireland wet woods, wet grass, wet gloves from climbing wet trees.

Therefore the categories of perfume I most like now are either the musks, leathers or the woods. Wood is a perfume category most popular for mens fragrance and I especially like the ingredient vetiver. Over time I’ve tried a vast number of vetiver scents and the one which I’ve found which suits me most is Sycomore from the Les Exclusifs line by Chanel. It’s a great big whopper of a bottle (200ml) and has become my signature fragrance, (until they decide to stop making it of course). I like Chanel Sycomore because it smells of bark and trunk and charred burnt things. Like fresh branches burning in a temple. There’s something comforting and welcoming about it so I WAS already a fan of woody scents.

“Yes,” Jovana agreed and explained that the duo behind this French company Le Labo (Edouard Roschi and Fabrice Penot), wanted the customer to experience this type of recall as much as possible so they created these lab-like boutiques in London, Los Angeles, Tokyo and New York plus a host of Le Labo “corners” all around the world like this one in Liberty London’s beauty hall. Jovana also explained that she was specially trained to mix each scent in front of me to a secret recipe. She then hand-poured and mixed the juice and sealed it all within full view.

While Jovana went through all of this, I had to write my name down (see above) so she could get the spelling correct on the customized bottle and box. (Both bottle and box can be labelled with a name or message of your choice.) I apologised for my writing but I was genuinely fascinated, cocking my head side-ways watching the process unfold, unaware that rainwater was dripping from my coat, camera and pen. Sorry for the fat writing I said. Jovana smiled, much too polite to use the f-word. How did she put it? Oh yes, “I’ll make allowance because you’ve just come in from the wet outdoors.” Nice. While Jovana customized the bottle and the box….

….A couple beside me at the counter spritzed one of Le Labo’s other fragrances. “You look confused,” Jovana said. You’ve got that right, I replied. Birch tar (smells like burnt wood) I love it, I suggested tentatively. Jovana nodded. And (this one took me ages)… is that vanilla in it? She nodded again. The mix is rare, leathery, smoky birch tar and soft vanilla and a little patchouli all in the one bottle. It had a bit in common with another fragrance I wear from the leather family of fragrances called Cuir de Russie by Chanel. But this Le Labo leather smell was smokier and darker like charred wood and 50′s car seats. And I guessed it would have long staying power on wool. Jovana gave me a look. “Yes this is all very true,” she said. So what do you think I did next?

Yup! More mixing, more customizing and more boxing up. A 100ml bottle of Patchouli 24 was added to my collection.

Later that evening back home, pre awards ceremony the spritzing and layering of new perfume continued as a calming mechanism… one last spritz as I practiced my loser face before going out the door and despite everything I’d done wrong in the past, the evidence a few hours later was that I was accidentally holding two awards (and this time I wasn’t minding them for anybody else). So with no powers of foresight, but with a generous dollop of hindsight one never really knows do they? And heres a warning… I’m no one to copy. The funeral pace of my own learning curve is infamous in certain circles. “Hey wouldn’t it be quicker just to get someone else to do all this research for you” someone recently said while watching me stab away at my notebooks with a pen, tongue stuck out in concentration while someone concocted yet another amazing new thing. Nah! I explained. I’m fine. I like learning things myself, even if it means asking loads of questions and making tons of mistakes. It’s made me forgive the mistakes that others inadvertatnly make.

So you might consider having a bottle of Le Labo made up in Liberty London or at the many stores they have dotted about the place. It’s a beautiful Valentines gift idea or maybe just simply buck the trend this year and just reward yourself?

When I hopped in a car from Klagenfurt airport, I kept expecting us to arrive at a huge glass building with soundproof bedrooms, quite possibly with huge iron gates and bulky suited men speaking into their sleeves. When we drove on to a jetty on a lake and took a boat I decided to give up guessing until I spied a tall broach spire (St. Mary’s church) poking the sky. Then when we turned towards a large building, I thought maybe the driver was giving me a short tour. But then when he told me to “stop the phone” it goes “in and out” I panicked and pulled a notebook plus irrelevant bits of paper from my pocket packed with last minute calls. In a few minutes my phone would cease to work in the “tech detox zone” so I frantically dialed my sister. And just as she was about to launch into what sounded like one of her best stories yet, my phone went “out”.

Alone and with zero knowledge of German I turned to a magazine in my arms for comfort. I consider printed magazines and newspapers, things of great beauty and brilliance and comfort. But those who specifically insist on padding their pages with enter-shame-ment to make me feel crap, loose instant brownie points from me. I tossed the magazine aside and squinted towards the shore.

I’ve several camera cards loaded up, with pics of this trip to Austria, so bear with me whilst I show and tell you what I was doing here. (Psssst! I really took these pictures so that I could remind myself of what really happened as the twelve days are all a bit of a hazy blur.)

In we went to shore and a lady broke from swimming to welcome me. She said she’d been a guest here for the previous three weeks and apparently “breakfast was a boiled egg, dinner, a potato, herbal tea counted as nourishment and I’d be weighed, starved, my tummy kneaded like dough and then…” the teller fell silent and put her finger to her lips (just like in the movie Shutter Island). Which is why I have to tell you why I visited here….

I was seduced by the idea that an expert could sort out my insomnia. There it is. Plain and simple. I had not intended to describe the process here except that I noticed that many of us on Twitter seem to tweet about not being able to sleep late at night. And we’re not alone…

On the flight to Austria I reeled off in my head what I’d learnt about many well-known insomniacs; Vincent Van Gogh hoped to earn more sleep by steeping his bed linen in camphor, Margaret Thatcher “Sleep is for wimps”, got by as British prime minister on just four hours of sleep each night. She took a supplementary short nap in the daytime. Likewise Bill Clinton famously takes a 30-minute nap after lunch daily (as did John F Kennedy, Ronald Reagan and Florence Nightingale). Franklin D. Roosevelt drank a warm glass of milk with a shot of cognac as a sleep aid. Marilyn Monroe treated her insomnia with sleeping pills, Abraham Lincoln took long walks at night, Madonna claims that her mind is too busy, Judy Garland stayed up for three or four days at a time, Napoleon survived on 3 hours a night, Benjamin Franklin would get out of bed until it cooled down, Isaac Newton was nodding off over a book when he saw the apple fall and Charles Dickens trawled the streets of London at night for inspiration for his books. Shakespeare’s many references to “oil-dried lamps,” “candles” and to “the smoakie light” refer to his all night writing sessions. Winston Churchill had two beds, one to try to sleep in and one to just lie in when the first bed failed. And Marcel Proust (my favorite) considered his lonely nighttime hours fertile for making art.

Proust wrote his masterpiece, Remembrance of Things Past, when sick, at the end of his life, confined to a Parisian, cork-lined bedroom. He’d sleep during the day and write all night. Proust’s most famous work was born over a succession of nights, the writer’s time when you’re separate from daylight influences. I was apprehensive climbing those wooden steps. Secretly, I kind of liked being awake at night, writing or reading while all around me slept.

As a writer I come alive at night; scribbling away, wrapped in a blanket of wool, silence and mystery. I’ll keep going for days until something is complete. And though I inherited this late-night-owl-gene from my mother, she will often get on the phone and alert me to its dangers. “Do you think you’re getting enough sleep?” she’ll ask. “Like hellooooo?” I reply wittily imitating my ten year old godson’s response to an obvious inquiry. It’s worse when my boyfriend’s away or I’m traveling, left to my own schedule, I’ll write until 3am, have “lunch” at 3.30am, creep around and check dark corners with a tennis racket at some point between 4 and 5am because I’ve heard a floorboard creak, anything except sleep. I can survive on none for ages. So after trying to get to bed before 3am for weeks and failing miserably, my chief motivation for visiting the Viva-Mayr was to see if the experts could regulate my sleep.

My first night I wrestled all night with the unfamiliar pillows, searching for that elusive optimum level of plumage you get at home. In the morning after a night of no sleep I wondered how long it would be before I’d get a respectable eight hours? Mine was a twelve day rush job, normally it’d take a month to detox and recalibrate an old eating and sleeping pattern. The number of sweets I’d been eating at home had also recently risen sharply (only slightly). (You might think it unusual, even unbelievable, that a girl should remember all the sweets she eats, but this one does, and lately she’d been mumbling the words Minstrels, Toblerone and M&M’s far too often.) It wasn’t long before an impressive answer was given to me regarding my love for sweets… “when we sleep well, we not only experience its regenerative powers, (better hair, skin and nails) but we we are less likely to crave sugary foods to give us an instant energy boost the following day.” Made sense!

So, first morning, (I won’t lie to you, the Viva-Mayr cure wasn’t easy. There I’ve said it), I downed one teaspoon of Epsom salts dissolved in warm water and mineral base powders (everyone was required to do this every morning) and within a few hours strange and unpredictable symptoms started to unfurl on my insides.

Examination next. There are five doctors and it was suggested that I have a full medical with one and this meant that I had to provide, ahem, samples and report for professional probing and prodding. A brisk nurse took an armful of blood and then I reported to Dr. Nadja Aichbichler for MAT. Yes that’s short for Manual Abdominal Treatment and “yes I can feel my kidneys, pancreas and liver you’re poking doctor! Nice to see that you can identify with your fingers that I still have a full set!”

Back in my bedroom, a pounding headache, constant trips to the bathroom and strange noises from deep within my intestines could not be ignored by just turning up the TV. I was under instructions to “try sleeping” (lights out and TV off at 8pm please). I spent the first two nights in my room staring at BBC World News ALL NIGHT where everything had turned slightly chaotic, turbulent and fearsome (detox symptoms). My reflection in the bathroom mirror from nights of feeling unwell told the whole tale. Around night three, things really deteriorated… The BBC World News theme tune which I love more than anything didn’t even make me smile. FACT! Whenever I’m traveling and in a foreign hotel room the boop, boop, boop, boop, tun tan…. “This is the BBC” comes on and ALWAYS makes me smile. It gives me that tiny little bubble of happiness in my chest. Have a listen below…..

Now the moment to get upset had arrived. I pulled this…..

A deadly silence ensued. A member of staff arrived and disappeared again to return with a pot of camomile tea. I said, now, now, don’t be hasty, you can always make an exception for an insomniac Irish girl wanting a cup of proper milky tea. Right? This minor loss of control was merely the prelude to an exciting twelve days of every tea on the planet except my two favorites. Oh the adventures. I honestly never knew other teas could be so precious. So let’s hold that scene for a moment while I establish why exactly I wasn’t allowed a drop of ‘normal’ breakfast or Earl Grey tea. Too much caffeine! Simple as. Fortunately I began to take my camomile tea with a British lady who poured hers with the placatory high tea ceremony noises: chiming china, clever quips, husky laughter late at night downstairs while everyone else snoozed, “Shall I pour?”, “Yes please, may I bother you for proper tea with some milk” “Thank You!” “No, afraid not”, and so on. In fact it was all so Miss Marple that it made us smile. She became a forever friend and as the group grew in size and loudness I rapidly whipped back to my (er, semi-normal?) self.

On the fifth night I finally dozed for more than four hours. The sixth morning I woke to little sparrows (two),their chicks (four), some swifts (six) colonizing my front balcony and chirping in firm Disney-esque form. They really were there, look here’s a picture of the slowest of them to prove it. I think they were hungry (me too) so I made a mental note to stash some extra bread in my pocket at breakfast (just in case of animal emergencies you understand).

Food whether for the wildlife or otherwise was a big talking point on the detox and everyone tried to get more from the waiting staff.

After a trip to the doctor, he thought it would be a good idea if I had a little more than other guests because I exercised and ran daily in the woods. This was my bumped up breakfast.

By lunchtime I’d a good appetite for this Arctic char with both white and wild asparagus.

By supper I thought they’d made a mistake. Goats cheese rolled in crushed pumpkin seeds.

Or a turmeric omelette was also an option on days I hadn’t already had an egg.

Wheat, sugar and caffeine were all stripped from my diet for twelve days as variously too “clogging” too “inflaming”, or too “stimulating” for insomniacs. Enter “super-doc” Doctor Harald Stossier (yup, ‘super-doc’ has entered my fashion lexicon…) with his Viva-Mayr clinic detox to “boost my immune systems, kick-start my energy levels, re-educate my sleep patterns” he said he’d have me “sleeping normally in no time.” How? “A well functioning digestive system is the corner stone of quality sleep and skin health. A sluggish gut prevents nutrients from being correctly absorbed and distributed to the vital organs, heart, lungs, liver, kidneys and the outward signs show on the skin, hair and nails. Toxin forming foods cause toxic side effects” Such as? “Any food your body can’t digest when it is tired or awake late at night ends up fermenting in your digestive system. The result when you finally do get to sleep is lots of tossing and turning and very little regenerative sleep. Spots, tiredness, water retention, headaches and finally chronic fatigue and some depressions are more serious results.” We settled on a diet of clean protein (fish and organic eggs) and fresh vegetables (steamed asparagus celery or swiss chard).” At least these things would be easy to find once I got home.

As ever in places like this, I felt like a trespasser, a confused and disorientated trespasser who lolls about pointlessly for hours on end. I confessed this to Dr. Stossier along with…. I’m just an Irish girl who rather likes being up all night, sweets and too many cups of tea. He had a long think about that, and then he said firmly “None of these are good things. You will benefit greatly form this detox. Each member of staff goes on this detox once a year here and we have few colds and flus or sick days. You will also feel the benefits. I don’t think you realize the serious implications of poor quality sleep!”

Dr. Stossier’s brand of “super-health” is a method unlike any other and he takes the workings of the intestine very seriously feeling his way around the intestine by pressing on the abdomen. “With the digestive system” (I didn’t know this, it’s quite interesting) “it’s common for conditions such as insomnia, auto-immune diseases to stem from an incorrect diet.” This was all very new to me. What else? Oh yeah, the most important thing to aid sleep is this “Eat NO RAW FOOD after 4pm (fruit or salad)” Dr. Stossier explained.

You may remember me mentioning now and again that I love lots of things about Paris. Actually one of my favorite French things is their love of an enormous simple salad in the evenings. Dr. Stossier banned salad in the evening (raw after 4). He explained “compromise by having a large salad at lunchtime.” No problem. I said and then spent a fair bit of time nodding and concealing my habit of night time fruit snacking guessing that eventually he would say something exactly like this “Salad and fruit ferment in the digestive system and causes you to toss and turn at night which results in disturbed sleep.”

After mentally chucking out both raw food and fruit for supper we had an animated debate about what I could actually have for my tea. The choice ranged from an egg and some hummus, or a bowl of soup or an omelette or some goats cheese and oatcakes or a baked potato or hummus with rice cakes. You will notice I use the word ‘or’ and not ‘and’ in the list of allowances. Cue shocked silence. “Steady on”, I said after a while, and I think I speak for most insomniacs here, “but that’s a bit radical isn’t it?” Dr. Stossier, took his pen and wrote in the margins of my schedule, “Supper should be a light meal eaten at about 6 or 7pm after which no solids should be consumed until breakfast the following morning.”

But hold on a minute. What about those of us who likes to eat our largest meal in the evening? Incidentally (this might be useful) “Simple. Switch it to lunchtime.”, he said “for example you can have a steak for lunch here.” Besides the small supper, large lunch, tips other Viva-Mayr lessons abounded. It was possible, I suppose, though unlikely, that we would agree about the cooking of steak. I had that lovely Heston Blumenthal show me how to cook the perfect steak for my first book a few years ago. Happy Memories. “Rub your steak with olive oil and lay in a very hot pan pressing gently down on it (if you can hold your hand over the pan for more than two seconds, then it ain’t hot enough, baby”. Leave the poor beast alone to cook, this seals it and stops it sticking. After two minutes, flip it over and let it cook for the same amount of time on the there side. Season with salt and pepper and keep it in a warm place for five minutes before serving.” Thank You Heston.

I love my meat Heston’s way. Either way, I inherited a new rule for frying everything at the Viva-Mayr: “replace olive oil with coconut oil. Coconut oil (the clear one on the left above) has a number of positive properties for cooking at high temperatures and since it is not inclined to oxidize, it can be stored for at least a year.” I was introduced to the news that “the liver burns coconut oil very quickly and this aids detoxification and weight loss. Olive oil can be a good alternative to coconut oil but one should consider whether it makes sense to use-high quality Virgin olive oil for frying, given that it is rendered useless in the heating process. Cheap olive oil (refined) (the yellow one on the right above) can be used for frying/cooking but Extra Virgin olive oil (the green one in the middle above) is ideal only for cold dishes such as spreads, salad dressings or for drizzling over warm dishes once cooked.” Oh and someone also mentioned a scientific trial where “coconut oil was pitched against other oils and it gave women smaller waists” proving it to be really helpful in weight-loss.

There was a lot to learn and I was tired and hungry. During a cooking demonstration with the chef I somehow got custody of a yellow rice dish (Risotto with multi-coloured vegetables). Ten minutes later, while the class moved onto the healthy (Asian) way of cooking (steaming) some fish, I was still clutching the rice in the bowl. Calculating that they must have forgotten about it, four of us picked at the thing in unison. We thought we’d gotten away with it, but wouldn’t you know, barely four minute later, “Hey”, where’s the risotto gone?” I decided the truth was the best policy and explained that we were curious as to what “inflammation-dampening antioxidants” tasted of. I learnt that “curcumin (the main active ingredient in ground turmeric) is an anti-inflammatory and 1 tablespoon, once a day (it can be added to rice, scrambled egg, soup or curry) has a multitude of health benefits.” They went on to explain that there is currently scientific evidence that points to turmerics benefits in fighting cancer cells in mice and regular ingestion of this spice, is partly to be credited for the reduced rate of Alzheimer’s in India.

Next we were told about “the health benefits of taking 1 tablespoon of ground sesame seeds and 1 tablespoon of ground flax seeds per day. Flax seeds (or linseeds as they are also know from which we get linseed oil) have more omega 3 fatty acids than any fish. Linseeds/flaxseeds improve the quality of hair, nails, and skin and help to regulate body weight. Sesame seeds provide a natural source of copper, magnesium and calcium.” They looked tough to chew. “They have to be ground in a coffee grinder to release the goodness.” We were also told that “sesame seed’s were one of the most natural foods to help reduce severe migraine.” I wondered what the remedy was for a throbbing, persistent ache brought on by the desire to possess a coffee grinder and some coffee beans in my room?

And because we were drinking so much liquid, we were fed wild asparagus every day as according to the experts it was soothing for our systems. Chef told us that “wild asparagus had been used for medicinal purposes for thousands of years. In the first century AD, the Greek physician, Dioscorides recommended using asparagus to treat kidney problems.” It was good to find that one of my favorite vegetables had centuries of belief behind it. I pointed out to Chef that Foxgloves if eaten can kill you stone dead.

You probably knew all this already. I didn’t. It was riveting. So riveting that the next day, during one of my daily runs in the woods where Bessie Rollins (she’s a pro) left me miles behind because she’s training for professional races.

I stopped to talk to a local mushroom picker and told him about the Foxgloves thing. He in turn told me that if I ate a certain mushroom I’d probably want ride the magic swans across the lake. Or at least that’s what I think he said. In German.

Next I had one of the most unusual experiences of my stay. Morning, 10.30, the sky cool and clear through the window. Inge at the controls, me on my back with two pipes inserted into my body for a colonic irrigation. The sound of water gurgling away as it filled my intestines… it felt weird, like when someone jumps out and suddenly screams BOO! You know that feeling? You think I’m joking? “It’s like an internal flush,” she said brightly. Ten minutes in and Inge reversed the process to draw out the impurities. I learned a lot from Inge. About why peanuts can cause blockages when not chewed properly and raw food after 4pm ferments and causes disease and the worth of a big smile in almost any situation. Yet the real lesson came at the end of my session, I expelled a doll’s hand which I had chewed off my Barbie and swallowed when I was seven. For me (please excuse my happiness) the discovery that part of a toy had remained with me since childhood reminded me also of something that my dad had taught me the day that Barbie’s hand went missing; never to sneer at people with broken toys or less then perfect things. As I said before, I like things a bit scuffed up and broken, maybe it’s because I chewed so many things up as a kid.

Chewing it turned out was one of the key factors to improved digestion and word reached me that Dr. Stossier chewed each mouthful of his food 30 to 40 times. Can you imagine? I could only manage 7 at a push. Chewing, Dr. Stossier claims, is the key to overall health and well-being and it helps improve sleep quality and a very unusual side effect is a shedding of excess weight. “When you chew more you eat less because your brain sends signals telling you that you’ve had enough. It also means you eat less because the nutrients from the food are absorbed more effectively, and your body craves less food” he explained. Other guests had their silent chewing down pat whereas honestly, I didn’t, I just chatted and chewed and chatted some more as guests chewed around me. Dr. Stossier explained that I was “a highly charged distraction to the chew”

Did I mention that the use of heat was also on the programme and that off the jetty was a Swedish sauna which overlooked the lake.

And the water temperature of the lake, honestly?

Cold as the grave, a mere degree or two above solid, the sort of water that did for Leanardo Di Caprio at the end of Titanic. If you plan on visiting the Viva-Mayr, it might be advisable to leave a note with a family member in case you never return, from the saunas. There are five different types of sauna from wet to dry but the infa-red one comes perilously close to entering the Guinness book of records as the hottest place on earth. Dr. Stossier insisted I “take hot saunas and cold dips in the lake throughout the twelve days.” It was this hot-cold-hot-cold changing of body temperature which would help detox my system and help me sleep more soundly. Being immersed and surrounded by water all day was a very large part of the cure.

Swimming in, soaking in it, and drinking in, water was relentless. “Some 60% of your body is composed of water and we need it for the dilution of toxins, their transportation, and regeneration. Still, bottled not carbonated was preferred to tap water plus “the most crucial thing is not to drink water while you’re eating solid food. Water dilutes your saliva just when you need it in concentrated form for digestion. It’s fine to drink water 15 minutes before you start your meal But then avoid drinking water again until at least an hour after you’ve eaten a meal.”

One of the masseuses Melanie (there’s a massage prescribed each day) said that he was a good man, Dr. Stossier, charismatic, down-to-earth and she was right.

He joked that he apparently enjoyed a glass of wine or beer when he went out for meals. He said when quizzed “one glass of either isn’t the worst health crime.” Er, I quized, if you’re not a wine or beer drinker with dinner what’s the alternative? “You could always try a few teaspoonfuls of herbal tea.” How about milk? “No, milk, fruit and vegetable juices are strictly for in between meals only as they are classified as nutrition and need metabolizing which is an extra load for the digestive system.” And no water? “Yes, only between meals.”

And how much water should I drink? “One to two litres a day, EVERY day.

This was the water station down stairs where we were encouraged to fill these bottles from a fresh spring which poured from a little fountain. Or there was detox tea which looked like cocktails but smelled of cough syrup but tasted of lemongrass…

If you’d like to mix up this detox lemongrass tea at home take (a half written as 1/2) 1/2 tbsp of yarrow, 1/2 tbsp vermouth (the herb, NOT the drink made from it), 1/2 tbsp horsetail, 1/2 tbsp birch leaves and 2 stalks of lemongrass and blend together the ingredients, and pour over 1 litre of boiling water. Steep for 2 to 4 minutes, and strain into a jug. Add 2 stalks of crushed lemongrass, and sip warm or cool.

Seeing as this post is full of questions, I’ll end with another… “Where are the magic swans?”, you ask. They are of course on the lake. Lake Worthersee where I swam about every day and watched them with their little ones. The fashion world loves a bit of nature and it was strange the effect the swans had on many of the actresses and personalities there. I tried not to scare them in any way and would just swim by and offer just a friendly little nod from a slightly confused sleeper. I was feeling rather optimistic with just three days to go.

I know at this point we can’t avoid the key question. “Was any of this working on your insomnia?” Honestly, I think it was. Not to take anything away from the professionals which like I said, were, knowledgeable, kind and cheerful but around day nine I began to enjoy BBC World News again. When not watching news, I found the place alive with a diversity of different people. I ate and laughed and stayed up past curfew with a gang of guests from Russia, Britain, Georgia and France. And hell, how could I not love the sparrows which I had adopted and did I mention that there were swans? So you can judge away at this point, but I’ll stand by my decision, this is a clever and healthy way to tackle insomnia. Stoccier is a realist, not a purist, and his overall goal is to use food to rebuild and cure (there’s no calorie counting) yet in twelve days I shed 16 LBS (7.2kg). Yeah, I reflected and as the darkness gathered on night nine, hating myself but still needing the company of BBC World News I slept three hours. On night ten I drifted off and slept for four and the last night I managed a full six hours straight. Not bad at all. Hopefully now I’ll manage to keep this up! The night holds so much attraction for me. xx

Travel Facts
Viva Mayr tel: 0043 4273 311170, www.viva-mayr.com
Fly to Klagenfurt from £461 return, with www.austrian.com or with Ryanair

Some of you have already been Tweeting me, asking if I’m still alive. This post is also for the rest of my family to reassure them at home and abroad that yes I’m fine and have made it safely into 2012. Seeing as I spent the past few weeks in the arms of doctors with a nasty stomach virus, it seems only fair to acknowledge it here in explanation for my absence. So here you go. I’m not sure what the correct method for explaining such a thing is, but um…. how about… I was sick, I’m sorry I wasn’t here, and now I’m better. In fact I was hoping that maybe this new feeling of wellbeing I have today, might coax me back into my running so that I can end up strong and fit like my new friend pictured above. Her name is Bessie Rollins and she’s a junior athlete in training to be a professional runner. I met Bessie in Austria and when I wasn’t cooing over her running skills and speed…

I was cooing over her shoes; limited edition Nike ID runners which she found in Paris when she lived there. “I would run from my home to the Eiffel Tower and back as part of my daily training”, she explained. ” Yum! I love the way they look shiny and worn at the same time and somewhat loved. It reminds me of something that the super talented shoe designer Nicholas Kirkwood once told me about spotting a girl on the tube in London in a pair of his Kirkwood platforms. “This really cool girl had a pair of my shoes on and she had worn them to death. She really loved those shoes and there were some worn bits and some shiny bits and I was too quiet to approach her and tell her that they looked great on her. They were so worn and loved and so full of character. I still regret not having the brevity on the tube to tell her that I’d designed them.” I love my Nicholas Kirkwood shoes even more after he’d told me that little story. His words also reminded me that I’m basically a bundle of scuffed bits and shiny pieces myself. Think it’s time I turned to some experts and got their take on how to feel as shiny as Bessie Rollins for 2012. See you back here shortly with answers.

A few have asked to see this… a glitter eyeshadow, yet some may think it’s neither here nor there. Pink glitter on the eyes which in a flash can sparkle (or not). Well it happily complimented my pale Irish skintone earlier, however the true fabbiness of it is only really made fabbier by model Marta Ortiz’s skintone at the Ashish Spring/Summer 2012 show (Oh and love that Sunflower print top).

Actually, that bit I just mentioned above about glitter “happily complimenting my skintone”, do real people talk like this? Is it not just make-up counter ladies who describe product in this secret language not unlike JRR Tolkien’s elves? All I know is that I’ve been hearing a lot of it about the past few days whilst shopping browsing so I’ll not inflict more upon you here. I took these shots last September at London Fashion Week and while I’m in deep confessional mood today I might as well tell you that I stepped as FAR back as the space would permit me to honestly consider these glitter eyes seriously. From back here, each little piece of carefully placed pigmented glitter twinkled and reflected the light beautifully. It was like looking at a good painting. Is that fair to say? At least it’s not Elvish speak right?

Here’s another shot, a real close up one. See, I was intrigued by this shadow because I don’t have a vast eye colour collection (by vast, I’m not referring to vast volume of product but amount of funds invested in colourful eye stuff…), to date I’ve only considered product in colours which I think actually suit me; never yellow eyeshadow because it’s too yuck! Pink of any kind makes me look ill. Black, brown, navy, grey, orange and blue are ticked as yeses but glitter?

I had to step back again and look at it on a girl with skin closer to my own complexion (Yeah, I wish!) So yes, you’ll probably roll your eyes at my wishful thinking and dedication to what could easily turn into a huge expensive mistake except…

….these painted eyelids are a result of a little art experiment. One part Vaseline (yes Vaseline) rubbed onto the lids and then pat some art glitter into it. The results are rather good no? If you’re concerned that the art glitter might scratch your eye out (oh yes it did) then a pigment pot glitter eyeshadow from MAC might me a safer bet. They come in several colours but aren’t as dramatic. MAC make-up artist Georgina Graham packed-on pink glitter from a MAC Pro glitter pot (they’re only available to professional MAC artists) hence the art shop artist’s glitter tip available to the rest of us went floating about backstage. I’m not entirely sure at which point this little nugget snuck into my notebook but someone also said that a clear or nude shadow base or cream shadow would work instead of Vaseline if you didn’t fancy your lids feeling slippy. SO use one and apply the glitter while it’s still wet. Oh and sparkles are messy; they scatter everywhere – including your clothes so some other lovely person suggested getting dressed after doing your eye make-up. Honestly bits of glitter have been falling onto my face and clothes trying this out all day but I’ve removed them with transparent scotch tape (wrap a small piece around your finger and life the specks off your skin).

So after a day spent in the company of Vaseline, glitter, scotch tape and my pens and pencils it’s a happy coincidence that the MAC team use these pads to sketch out and fill in the products used in each show (in keeping with my earlier art reference too). This slightly off-centre and haphazard vision of a ‘pretty’ eye (I’m so going to use this NON Elvish word forever now in beauty) is both feminine AND forward thinking. Considering these shots were taken backstage at Ashish’s London Fashion Week Spring/Summer 2012 show they are in fact next February’s Spring look. You’ll be very much ahead of the 2012-vers if you decide to join in my sparkly art experiment now.

A little while ago, I visited The Print Club London, where they allowed me to play !!Artist!! for a day and make 100 bespoke Goddess Guide screen prints – I write that word with exclamation marks and a capital “A” because well at the time, it felt a bit special (to me anyway). So let me tell you why the experience deserves just a few more quick exclamation marks. Honestly, I had a really lovely time even thought most of it was spent saying things like: “Stop filming!!! Emergency!!! More tea please!” I learnt a whole new language of colour while simultaneously trying to achieve the correct Pantone shade for my cups of milky tea.

Yes, this shade of tea is a tad dark for my liking right here but I had so much interest in mixing up the different paint colours that I even put them before finding the correct Pantone colour for my tea. I take my tea a very light shade a million miles away from builder and while the teabate continues to this day, I did manage to settle on four colours for this screen print.

Meanwhile during all of this chin-stroking and colour checking I was being filmed, but you’ll notice in the resulting film at the end of this post that you can’t hear me speak. Not a word. There’s a reason for this, it’s because the film is shot in stop motion – thousands of stills strung together so the only sound to be heard was the constant clicking of a camera shutter and not my *Irish excited and panicked voice* dribbling paint and words all over the place.

So I had a mixed media pen and ink drawing, hand painted in acrylic and oil which I wanted to screen print in four colours and ochre, a kind of a yellow was the first colour I chose. I was using this colour to get the correct shade of SHINY, GOLD, ANTIQUE for the chair and the Goddess’s vintage dress. It’s at this point in the film below that if there was indeed talking you would definitely hear me say…. “A bit more er, gold-ish wotsisname in there please? Thank You”

While choosing and creating four different colours I realised that there are quite a few steps to making a screen print. This was a first for me and whether it was the sheer concentration or too many cups of tea on the day but I started to get that first in your life feeling… like my first printed by-line; my little name in print above a piece I wrote about art in a newspaper which I brought home at Christmas to show my Mum. Or the first copy of my first book hot off the printing press. This print felt like that.

For the first screen pull, I had a go at placing the plastic sheet with the chair and Goddess’s dress drawn on it under the screen and taping it in place.

Then the screen was filled up with the ochre paint so that it could be pulled through the screen onto the paper (it’s easy to see all this in the film below).

And this is what the first ochre pull revealed. Only ninety-nine more chairs and dresses to do. Yikes!

Do any of you know how long this usually takes? Nope, me neither until it was explained to me by the printer Olivia Sautreuil that you have to wait for each colour to dry before you can add another. So after a few hours the ochre had dried and we applied the next colour…

…pink for the Goddess dress and head-dress. Mixing it made me wish I could find yoghurt this colour.

And this particular move right here was sure to get plenty of paint around the studio because it turned out to be one of my favourite shades in the world to work with (but not to wear).

So I got stuck in. No point in hiding the gleeeeeee, it’s quiet evident I’m a bit over-happy about this pink right here.

Olivia who was helping me print on the day also, (ahem!) handily gave me a few tips about getting my hands clean after working with inks and paint. Olivia buys Loctite in industrial size bottles and decants it into these tiny Muji bottles. She showed me how she just puts it on her hands, rubs it around a bit and it takes all paint away, NO water required. And she goes nowhere without her Ducray Laboratoire Dermatologiques Ictyane Créme mains réparatrice, a hand cream which helps repair and offers long-lasting protection to prevent dry and chapped skin (she has the most beautiful hands but I wouldn’t have expected anything less, she is after all French.)

Can you not spot her Frenchness even from behind. The way she carries her printing squigy in her satchel. So in her honour I named this print Les Liaisons Dangereuses. And by the way I’m not really this tiny, it’s just the way photo was taken (Swear).

I toyed with using a whole bunch of other colours when I saw them scattered on this. Seriously what sort of a blogger would I be if I didn’t toy with the idea of mixing !!Art!! !!Fashion!! and !!Colour!! (and loads more exclamation marks?)

I think I may have said something at this point along the lines of… “anyone who chooses to turn their hand to writing or sketching daily, I commend them.” This Goddess is in fact a sketch of Courtney Love which I did one day when doodling about with her over cookies and tea. It’s probably the most normal thing we have in common, the love of tea, cookies a good sketchpad and pen and pencil action. It’s important to keep making things if you’re any sort of artist. I really believe that. For me that means making things that make me smile….”

I was secretly hoping that it would turn out well when the red wallpaper background was applied. The background had taken me a good few months to create, each little thing in it is hand drawn (it’s from the cover of the first Goddess Guide book and is a pattern compiled of my favourite items).

I hoped with a little prayer that it would all come together once the final black layer when on.

I closed my eyes and squinted a bit as I opened them hoping that the final image would look good. Then I thought of something vaguely philosophical “It’s an homage to a Goddess who can quite effortlessly mix Topshop with a fantastical bespoke vintage headpiece and push her own style to the edge of existence. Her world is layered with luscious texture; the scent of Fracas perfume rolls over a satin and gilt edged chair, red flock wallpaper matches crumbling 40′s lipstick, kohl’d eyes look from beneath blonde Elnett curls. A landscape of longing.”

The significance for me of being able to hand make a print in England in a studio giving printers constant work cannot be underestimated. And if you’d like to try the process yourself The London Print Club lets you take a group along and you can get an introductory session for a fee. I hired The London Print Club for a full day and if the experience wasn’t a wonderful one, no amount of tea or smiles would make me pretend otherwise. I had the best fun and everyone there was so, so kind.

Also on this day, frustrated at not having anywhere to show step by step behind the scenes making of things (Jeeeeeez, shit, how am I supposed to show the littlest details of people that I visit?), I made the decision to start this blog. Just to be able to blog about things I like and hear what people like me really think in the world. To find and talk about things like this headdress in this print by this American designer here

So that’s all really! Oh yes, just to say that I’m not that small really, see it’s just that this print is really rather big! Also just to say that I did a print on the day with a blue background inspired by a blue mug in the studio, but I only did a few.

Some of these prints have already been bought by some pretty amazing people so if you fancy giving one a safe home, somewhere where Goddesses and milky tea are much appreciated, then have a look here. Meanwhile come behind the scenes in this little film below.

P.S. A special Thank you to @katieantoniou who helped organise everything for me and above all, thanks to you. X

It’s incredible some of the fashion things I’ll allow myself have when people start running around in Christmas Sarah Lund jumpers. I know perfectly well that my current jumper fixation has everything to do with today being the first day of winter in London and nothing to do with the fact that it’s been winter in Scandinavia since October 14th. (Their winter runs from October 14th to the end of February). But let’s not talk about wintery things yet, OK? I’d much rather talk about the carbfest which was my huge dish of cuttlefish pasta yesterday, it was yum until someone told me that a cuttlefish uses its cloud of ink to hide from a predator so in honour of the little cuttlefish and still ignoring winter for a while I’m giving my dark inky nail polish a rest. I’m sitting at the airport here, sifting through these shots and I’ve fallen in love with these nails I shot at Ashish’s Spring/Summer 2012 show. Aren’t they the perfect winter antidote?

Watching backstage while model Flaviana Matata had her beautiful long fingernails painted, I vaguely remember asking if this glitter would suit ‘lil old pasty me. OK, I’ve just looked at my scribbled answers in my notebook and the answer in BIG writing says NO!… So for everyone else…here’s what I was told. “Deep coloured polish is more flattering on pale skin because of the contrast it creates. Look for opaques, dark purples, inky blacks anything along the lines of Chanel’s Rouge Noir. (Sorry Mr. Cuttlefish). Olive skin can look sallow with dark polishes so slightly lighter and more vibrant shades such as intense navies and and royal purples will brighten the skin.” And dark skin like Flaviana Matata’s beautiful hands? “Dark skin can take the drama of shimmer and bright colour and anything with sparkle.” Right so maybe this sparkle doesn’t suit me but when has that ever stopped any of us?

So if you’d like to attempt this, first up you’ll need good nails because this look is basically nude with glitter on top. I was advised at this point to exfoliate once a week with a hand scrub and moisturise frequently and then buff with a buffing pad to smooth ridges away. Anyone who wears dark nail polish can stain their nail so a nail technician suggested I swab my nails with hydrogen peroxide on a cotton ball to remove discolouration (warning do this no more than once a month).

Then the whole glitter look is really quite simple, just a few products, paint on Lumos Instant Impact Bottom Coat onto the nail and then immediately add some glitter while the Bottom coat is still sticky. Then add a coat of Lumos Instant Impact Top Coat to seal the glitter in place. The technician was using a MAC pro product but glitter from an art shop is just as good.

I’d intended doing this myself… I mean how hard could this be? Answer. A bit maybe – look at the special bottle action in the picture above, the technician is holding the Bottom Coat bottle and glitter in one hand so the minute the bottom coat is on one nail she can get straight to work on dabbing on the glitter. Up close this bit looked fiddly as she dabbed the glitter on gently with this brush above. But I’ll try anything once so here are a few more things to keep in mind if you’d like to try this yourself. 1. When applying polish at home, steady your hand by anchoring your little finger on your work surface and 2. Grasp the brush with your other hand between your thumb and three fingers. Oh and when applying any type of polish wipe one side of the brush against the lip of the bottle, then use the other side to paint one stripe of colour up the center of your nail and one stripe on either side. Dry for two minutes, then apply a second coat.

Here’s the technician giving a quick slick of glitter to my fingers when everyone else was finished. See what I mean about my pasty digits?

The same look on Flaviana Matata’s fingers looked a million times better and then of course there were the eyes (a separate post maybe if anyone wants). So this little glitter injection has made me feel a lot less wintery this morning (Yeeeeeeeaaah!). Now to find some more winter cheeryuppage. Hmmmmmmm!

From the cleanser which should be on all of our beauty lists to the powder we’ll be queuing to buy, I went backstage to meet Val Garland to find out what I should be asking Santa for this Christmas… It’s a fact, make-up expert and industry legend Val Garland has access to beauty’s newest products first. Opting for super-gentle cleansers and moisturisers to calm models’ make-up weary faces and ‘prep’ them for the next look, she opened up her beauty kit and shared these wonderful tips. “Backstage or before a photo shoot I go straight for Bioderma Créaline H20, which is the best cleanser I have come across; it doesn’t aggravate the skin, even after numerous shows. I get it from Parisian pharmacies. Then I usually use an SK-II Eye Mask, £45 for 14 (0800 072 1771), to help reduce dark circles and puffiness from flying, late nights etc. On shoots, I’ll use SK-II Facial Treatment Mask, £45 for six (0800 072 1771), it’s an excellent antidote to jet lag, late nights and it regenerates the skin’s tired appearance and replenishes moisture (a good one for after a party). Next, I go straight to YSL Hydra Feel Fresh Hydrating Water Gel, £32 (01444 255 700), a fab moisturiser which makes skin feel baby soft, or Skinceuticals serums or nourishing skin creams (05603 141 956) which work like magic to wake up the skin and leave it well-hydrated and ready for make-up!”

As for make-up, two of Val’s favourite secret products are; MAC’s Set-Powder, “I sweep a load of this across the cheeks with a fan brush so that it catches any eyeshadow or pigment from a smokey eye (see the picture below). You just brush it away when finished.” Backstage at the Marios Schwab Spring/Summer 2012 show Val also had MAC’s Prep and Prime powder in her kit (see pic above) “I can’t go anywhere without this, it gives a wonderful transparent finish and reduces shine while optically minimizing the look of pores, lines and imperfections. It’s a must-have.”

And Val’s best beauty tip? “Buy good brushes, I buy great quality ones at art stores.” And seeing as Val Garland is responsible for some of Hollywood’s most famous faces I can be sure that all of her recommendations actually work (ie products that are guaranteed to make my friends skin (that should really read my skin) happy this Christmas).